How to split a lease without losing your security deposit
The exact order of operations for untangling the apartment. What to ask your landlord, how to split costs fairly, and how to protect your credit.
7 min read
By Lauren
Founder, The Divorce Letters. Divorced at 25, no kids.
The lease is usually the messiest piece of this. Not because it's complicated, but because it's where the practical and the emotional collide. Here's the order that works.
Call the landlord first, before any other decision. One question: 'What are our options to remove one name from this lease?' Most landlords have a standard form for this. They've handled hundreds of these and they don't care about your relationship. They care about the rent getting paid. That neutrality is actually a relief.
“You're not being paranoid. You're being kind to the version of you who'll need to remember this six months from now.”
There are usually three real options. Option A: one person stays and re-signs the lease alone. The leaving person gets their share of the deposit back from the staying person (not the landlord). Get this in writing, including the dollar amount and the date it'll be paid. Option B: both move out and break the lease early. There's almost always a fee, usually one to two months' rent. Default to a 50/50 split unless circumstances clearly warrant something else. Option C: sublet the remaining months. Slowest and most awkward, but cheapest.
Whatever you pick, get it in writing. Even a clear text thread counts. You're not being paranoid. You're being kind to the version of you who'll need to remember this six months from now.
Two things people forget: change the utilities into one name on the day someone moves out (or they keep getting billed), and update your address with your bank, your employer, and the post office. The post office redirect is $1.10 and one of the most useful things you'll ever buy.
Your credit is fine. Breaking a lease the right way, with the landlord's agreement and the fee paid, does not hit your credit report. What hurts is ghosting and getting sent to collections. Don't do that. Pay the fee, get the receipt, move on.
What to do this week
Three small, doable things.
- 1Call your landlord this week and ask the one question above. Take notes.
- 2Open a shared note (or spreadsheet) with the costs of each option side by side, so the decision is about numbers, not feelings.
- 3Set up mail forwarding the day you know your new address. Try usps.com/move or your country's equivalent.
Want it all in one place?
The Starter Kit has the long version of this guide, plus checklists, the scripts for the hard conversations, and a 30-day plan you can actually follow.
See the Starter KitLauren
Founder of The Divorce Letters. Got married at 22, divorced at 25, no kids, one dog. Writes the things she wishes she'd had at 11pm on a random Tuesday.
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